This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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