shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
