oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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