I hate your face
I'm so fucking centered right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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