He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
