I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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