i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
