And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize