we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Holy sore nipples Batman
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
