I'm going to jail i love you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
