I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i wish my penis had a tongue
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
