She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
