i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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