birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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