she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
