guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize