Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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