The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize