Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
