GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
