Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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