You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
