whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
