So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
