I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
