if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
