went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
