Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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