Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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