think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
