she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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