have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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