Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
