NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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