First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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