She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
