you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
