We won't sleep together?
I'm really into asian looking animals
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
