so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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