My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
