Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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