nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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