Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
