still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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