bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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