take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
