Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize