I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
