Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
