these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
