If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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