The maid of honor just puked.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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