she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
