when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
