It's Friday. Sex?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
