My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
