i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
