Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
