i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
