Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
