The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
