I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize