The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
